Customer Service 101

The Satanic Scriptures pre-order fulfillment went pretty well. We’ve gotten some great feedback on the book and only a few snafus. Some people sent illegible order forms (if we can’t read the address, it makes it hard to send something in the mail), some didn’t send the right amount of money, and I think we might have sent a hardback to someone who ordered a slipcase, but we’re fixing that now.

All in all, we sent hundreds of books out within two weeks, and that time included picking them up at the shipping center in a u-haul, unloading them at the offices, three days travelling to New York and having books signed by the high priest of the Church of Satan, special ordering shipping supplies and etc. etc.

I’m not complainging, but we usually do a dozen orders in two weeks, not a few hundred.

We had one pest though. One person who just demanded to know, every other day it seemed, what the progress was on his order. I’d been short in my responses, because how many times can I write “your order will be filled”?

It was really down to the wire with this release. At one point it looked like the books might not make it to the US until the 28th! Everyone would have gotten theirs late. It takes almost a month just to have the books shipped from our printer overseas. The original plan had the hardback book slated for Halloween of this year, but it was decided we wanted to release it on Walpurgisnacht, we had to work on a truncated time table (cutting 7 months out of the release schedual)!

The proverbial straw was a 3rd e-mail in the last two days that had a subject line of “dissapointed”. I couldn’t keep it to a one line sentence reply:


I gotta tell you, you’ve sent us probably a dozen goddamn e-mails and numerous notices of address changes.

You will get your book, relax. We’ve done an amazing job at getting hundreds of orders filled in just a few days. Problem orders were pulled and filled last. You sent address changes and therefore yours was a “problem order”. You haven’t been neglected and if you’re disappointed then you’ve proven yourself terribly impatient and your constant e-mails have shown you’re also a pest. We were disappointed in you long before now.

On every order form and every website we asked people to wait until the 5th of this month to contact us. You disregarded this and have pestered us with multiple requests for address changes and updates.

“We respectfully ask that you abstain from e-mailing us for updates on the release of this book unless you have not heard from us or received delivery by May 5th.”

You have not received your book, but you have HEARD from us, right?! We have TOLD you that it was being shipped to you, RIGHT?!


Scapegoat Publishing